This year I hopefully plan to continue blogging and I am really looking forward to it.

That moment was a breaking point for me which made me cry. I cried because it was so sad that a little black girl will pick a doll which looks like her and believe that it is bad just because it is black. I also cried because I remember when I was a child, my mother bought a black doll for me. I disliked it so much. I broke its legs and pulled the hair out. I cried because I wonder how come as a child I felt that way. What made me hate something so much that looked liked me? Why do some black kids at a young age feel inferior and hate things that look just like them? Why do they feel that the black doll is bad just because it is black? This breaks my heart so much.

I spoke to a friend about this, she told me she believes one of the reasons to this problem is what kids are exposed to. At a young age, they are falsely exposed to society’s standard of beauty. Little girls watch fairy tales where the princesses considered beautiful are white girls. They watch cartoons and TV shows in which the characters are mainly white. These girls do not see anyone who looks like them. The view of beauty portrayed to them is not anyone who looks like them but white girls. As a result, they start to perceive white as being more beautiful and black as being bad and ugly.

I plead the standards of beauty need to change and kids need to be learn that black is beautiful.

Lately, there has been so much news about the battle against rap music/ lyrics. Since the Don Imus incident, when he referred to the Rutgers female basketball athletes as “nappy headed hoes”. A lot of people have blamed Rap musicians to contributing to this negative portrayal of black women in videos. In most rap music videos the portrayal of women is very demeaning; the women wear almost nothing as the musician objectifies them. Even in the rap lyrics the words in which the women are described are words such as bitch, ass, nigger, it, thing. These words are degrading to women and shouldn’t be allowed. These words encourage people like Imus by reducing the value of women and influencing the younger generation to perceive women as such. No one is saying the musicians should be held responsible for Don Imus’ ignorant and racist comments but they play a vital role.

Recently, I watched the Oprah town meeting program. A lot of people commented that that some of the blame rests on the music industry particularly producers and executives. If the producers are able to restrict the content of musician’s lyrics then the root of the problem could be resolved. However, most musicians argue that this restriction would be a violation of their freedom of expression. Nevertheless, this so called freedom comes at an expense to the respect to women in the society. The abuse and disrespect of women must stop.

There are little boys calling girls bitches and asses. This is not what needs to be taught to our future generation. They need to be taught how to respect women. If we don’t we would have incidents like Don Imus happen again.

Please, we cry out to the music executives and musicians to not make an extra buck at the expense of the honor and pride of their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters.

Beauty!! Beauty!! A question I always wondered was what is beauty, how is it measured? When I was younger, I had a very weird and interesting conversation with my father about the difference between someone who is beautiful, cute, pretty or handsome. I wish I had listened to what he said that day. However, I have always wondered, on what conditions and measurement where his definitions on.

Growing up as a young girl in Nigeria, I was darker in complexion compared to my other friends. I always wondered why I was so dark. I knew I was beautiful but secretly wished to be lighter in complexion. I knew a lot of people in Nigeria who bleached their skin so they could be fairer. I wondered what was it about being black that made us question and dislike our skin and want to be something else.

After I moved to America, my awareness of my skin color was heightened. I had discussions with friend about skin tones. Most of my friends said in general most black guys dated white girls, and the guys who dated black girls mostly dated the light skinned girls. Why the preference to white and light skinned?

I believe most of the reason for the preference of lighted skinned or white lies in the colonial oppression and slavery. Black people have been made to believe that aren’t beautiful enough. They have been told they look like apes and are inferior mentally and physically. The message during the colonial period was about spreading light to the Dark Continent. Also the spiritual connotation of white representing holiness and light while black representing darkness and evil was spread during the colonial era and still lingers today in our society. These negative meanings affect the way in which black women see themselves. Even in magazines there are very few black women portrayed as beautiful.

In our society today, the standards of beauty are being thin, skinny and especially being white. A lot of black women try and fit into this standard of beauty. They relax their hair so it isn’t doesn’t appear “nappy” and wear weaves and wigs. What is the problem I often ask myself, is that we are ashamed of who we are that hide under artificial hair and apply chemicals onto our hair just to achieve society’s standard of beauty of appearing white. Recently, I wonder why I am always so eager to relax my hair so it doesn’t become natural. The sad part is I have no answer to this question. I have fallen to this false standard of beauty.

India Arie is an amazing musician who I admire and respect a lot. She is a proud black. Her song I am not my Hair affected me so much. She says” I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not you expectations but I am the soul that lives within. Good hair means curls and waves, Bad hair means you look like a slave”. These words are very powerful. In society the standards of beauty are warped. However, we are more than the world measures us by. Since then I have been inspired to grow my hair naturally. I still have gotten there but I pray one day I will.

Whitney Houston six-time Grammy winner and two-time Emmy winner has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown. The two tied the knot in 1992 and have a 14 years old daughter. Their marriage brought out the worst in each other. It led to the destruction of Whitney successful career. Their marriage led to the gradual decay of her career and personal life. She had drug and health related issues. In 2000, she was believed to be under drug abuse when a pack of marijuana was found in their luggage. She appeared anorexic and sickly. In 2006, she went to the Rehabilitation center to seek help.

Her problems did not stop only in health issues. She also encountered financial problems. She sold her personal belongings and lost her estate due to late mortgage payments.America knew Bobby Brown was a bad influence and his continued presence in her life led to further destruction.

Thankfully, she realized she was worth more he was giving her. I am sure she realized she could do better than their destructive relationship. Their marriage did not strength her but instead it introduced her to a world of drugs. The good news is her divorce is nearly finalized and she is free to fly away from him. The court has also granted her full custody of their daughter.

Hopefully, she can begin to build a better life for herself and her daughter. She has so much talent. According to Clive Davis, she is one of the best singers alive today in the world. She has begun to record a self titled album Whitney which is slated for release by the end of the year.

I truly hope she is able to come back with a big bang better than ever and show the world what she is made of.

Ding Dong!!! She’s free from the big bad wolf!

In almost every reality TV show, there is always a “mad black woman ” There is always a black girl who seems incredibly out of control. she always starts a fight and takes every thing personally. Does the media intentionally edit these shows and make these black girls seem over the top or are black girls typically bitches.

For example, in the first season of “The Apprentice’, there was vicious Omarosa. she was perceived as the direct, sometimes rude and no nonense lady who every one was scared of. Yesterday, as I was watching the season premiere of “The Bachelor“. There was one black girl out of all the contestants. During the show she kept on insulting people and was ready to start a fight with one of the girls. As the show continued, she wasn’t chosen by the bachelor (Andy Baldwin) and she literally threw a tantrum. She started insuting the show and the bachelor’s choices. All i kept thinking was “oh no not the mad black woman again” I really wonder does the media over play the “black bitch’ aspect or are black girls typically aggresive? Take a look at this article which tries to address this issue. it offers interesting points